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I met a girl via facebook that I went to high school with, but didn't personally remember (although I did remember a lot of her friends). Either way, we started talking one night on FB chat, and then exchanged numbers, next day at work we texted all day, it was nice, she was cool, funny, etc. She came over that night, we had sex, 3 times, and the next day she texted me like, 150 times. If I didn't respond (because of a work meeting, or a sales call) she would explode.
Either way, that night she calls me, and is acting really, really strange. She kept telling me "she had to tell me something" but wouldn't say anything, she just kept saying, "I don't know" and "I can't say" for like an hour. Now, I am hyper paranoid about STD's, and due to the fact that I was shitfaced, I didn't wear a condom. So I assumed she was trying to tell me she had herpes. After the second hour of her neither confirming or denying any and all my paranoid questions, I screamed at her "stop with the mousy fucking bullshit! Just be an adult and speak, or text me, this is not fair, at all, you're making me sick with fear when all it takes is for you to tell me why I'm up at 1 a.m. when I have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow worried about something and nothing at the same time, fucking grow up!", I hung up and forced myself to sleep.
The next day, I texted her around 10 (I got into work at 7:30), I was worried about her and about the situation. Nothing. I went into complete panic mode. Around 11:45 a.m., the office phone rings, it says "GOLD BAIL BO", now, I was in a small office (5 people at that point), we all had cubes, so we heard one anothers conversations and had a rotating phone answering plan (as sales people "call-ins" were some weird incentive. Thank god. As, it was her, or rather, a bail bondsman, on behalf of her, asking if I would bail her out. I said, call me on my cellphone, and fled the office, as, it was a place of work, and, also, I was trying to date a girl in the office and had been on and off (she had a BF and it was super complicated and ended up being one giant mindfuck where she basically wanted my GF of 5 years (who at this point was out of the picture) to break up with me, or me her, simply as a game or some shit, that involved her using her vagina to defeat my logic).
So, in the hall, I find out she's in county, for assaulting her mother, the bond was $5,000. The bond. Some don't know how this works, bond is 10% of bail, you don't get bond back, bail you do (which would've been 50k) if/when you go to trial. So, knowing this girl for a total of 48 hours, I said, "are you seriously asking me for that much money? I don't know you, you don't even have a job Maria, seriously, call one of your friends" and she screams "DERP, I HAVE NO FRIENDS, AND I'M PREGNANT", and I say "that's impossible, we had sex 2 days ago, I'm not paying $5,000 for this" and the bail bondsman, who was on the call, and probably thought "this is the most WT call ever" said "maria, he isn't budging, let's try someone else, okay honey?". Flash to the next week. She went through every fucking bail bonds company in the phone book, everytime I said no, she'd just call another one and have them call my work (I said once, in passing, where I worked, and somehow she got that number, in jail). So, I called the county jail and got her phone privileges taken away.
Somehow her court date wasn't for almost 7 weeks (I looked it up on the county website), so this entire time, I'm worried about her actually being pregnant, or some genital warts forming on my person etc. She eventually got out, and then decided to get drunk and call me from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. every night, without fail, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. I'd answer, scream, make jokes, play porn, play scenes of someone shooting them self, plead, be nice, by mean, etc. Nothing stopped it. I called the police, they said without threats it wasn't a crime (as if harassment wasn't a crime anymore?). Then finally, it just stopped...
She was forced into a detox/metal health review (through my internet sleuthing I had found out after she called me from jail that she had been involuntarily committed by her mom, twice prior, for similar shit). I know this because I read her online obituary. She hung herself with the wire on the shower curtain. Alone. In a detox facility.
I've had constant nightmares about her. I don't believe in that kind of shit, mostly. But the dreams, I can't even begin to explain the horror. It's usually her, in like a prom dress, for some reason (we were both 26), crying, crying, crying crying crying, and I'd be like a hallway away, her on a fucking bench, just saying that I stood her up on our date, and that she loved me, and I keep telling her it's okay, until she looks up, and is fucking dead, rotting, like all green, and she stands up and is hovering, and I start crying like, I am so sorry about what happened, I was worried about my job, my life, I didn't know, I DIDN'T KNOW (my parents have heard me waking up screaming this multiple times when I've been at their house, because my house scares me now) and she starts like run floating towards me, and opens her mouth HUGE, and slams into me like absorbing my being through this huge agape maw. And I wake up like frozen from fear, sometimes crying, but mostly just feeling like shit about what happened to her.
She was crazy, she almost got me fired, a couple times (calling the office over and over in and out of jail, and by keeping me up all night with calls (I used my phone as an alarm clock and couldn't block "unknown" calls and if I put ringer on silent, the alarm didn't work, which was the other reason why I almost got fired, and actually in the end, was fired). But still, she had good in her, that was masked by substance abuse and chemical imbalances in her brain, and that wasn't her fault, and she died. And I just wish one time she would've talked to me when I answered at 4 a.m., let me know how sad she was, I am a forgiving person, I would've been able to help.
While I know it's not the case, I hope that is her in my dream, and that she knows how bad I feel. I know it's my guilt mixed with a life spent on 4chan, but I hold out hope she found peace somehow, even though she died alone and sad around strangers who didn't care enough to check on her for 4 hours after she was admitted.
TL;DR- I don't feel right cutting this down. Read it, or don't. RIP.

#ossfzt

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